I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
