Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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