do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
