IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
