People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
