My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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