I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
