How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Someone signed my nipple.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
