Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
