my vag is so smooth its legendary
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
