My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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