That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
