Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
