it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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