A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
