I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
