My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize