farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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