so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
