i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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