I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
