Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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