Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
