he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
