Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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