Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
