By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize