I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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