she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
