I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
