I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize