I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
