I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
