i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize