hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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