I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
