The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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