do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
