Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize