Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
