Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
