woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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