i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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