my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
