your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
