I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
