we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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