I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize