Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Enjoy the penises
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
