This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
