it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
