covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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