Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
