you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think my moral compass just broke
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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