New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize