I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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