she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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