Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize